BY: Tim Graves, PGA

Was reminded of this story at our Mental Game School last week…. was suprised how many had not heard the story before, so thought would get it out again…

Paul Monahan, Graves Golf Mental Game Coach, honored me with a request to write a forward for his newly released book.

Thought I’d give you a “sneak peak” of a quick story I will put in the forward…

A few years ago, Paul and I (Tim) were running an Alert Attitude of Indifference Mental Game School in Orlando, FL. The school is a 2 day school in which we work with our student’s on their mental game during play and practice in their golf game. Time is spent in the classroom, on course and performing exercises and drills in different practice areas to help our students improve their golf games through a better / more positive mental game.

On the first morning, Paul, myself and our students were on the putting green performing one of Paul’s exercises. This particular exercise involved the following:

1. Paul gave every student a sheet of 16 labels. Eight of the labels had positive words printed on them (ie. Happy, Positive, Encouraging, Loving, etc..) and 8 labels had negative words on them (ie. Sad, Negative, Discouraging, Unhelpful, etc..).
2. Paul then told the students to stick one of the positive labels on another student. Do this eight times until all the positive labels are gone from their sheet. They peeled the label off the page and picked a student to put it on (I participated in this exercise and found this very easy…. pick another person and put a positive label on them).
3. Paul then told the students to pick one of the negative labels and stick it on a student. Do this until the eight negative labels were gone. (I participated in this also and found it very hard to do this..)

After the exercise was completed, Paul discussed with the group about self talk, positive vs. negative, how easy it is to talk positive about another, how hard it is to label another negative, but consequently, how easy it is to talk negative to yourself, and how hard it is for so many to talk positive to themselves. Ultimately, how positive self talk must be encouraged and how positive self talk will greatly enhance your change for improvement both in play and practice.

The 2nd day of our school, we always start with a question and answer session about the previous day’s teaching. I typically ask the students, “How do you think yesterday went and if there was anything they wanted to talk about?”

At this school, immediately after my question, one of our students stood up and said, “I thought the exercise we did on the green yesterday was a complete waste of time, and in my opinion, all we did was litter (when the labels feel of the students and blew away).”

I have to be honest (and many of you who know me can probably can predict my response…) I was not very happy with this student as was about to “escort him out of the school…”

I can only assume Paul saw my initial reaction, and stopped me in my tracks…. Before I responded to this student, Paul stood up and asked if he could address the question.

Paul proceeded to ask the student why he felt that way, why he thought the exercise was a waste of time and in general, discussed the student’s mental approach to his golf game.

Come to find out, it wasn’t about the exercise at all. It was about the discouragement this gentleman felt every time he practiced because he expected faster results, and more about how he was expecting his golf game to help reduce his pressure he was feeling at work. Paul proceeded to discuss with this gentleman how the same exercise could and should be used outside of golf – in his personnel and professional life… and how this exercise could and would change his perspective in all areas of his life.

Honestly – I was completely taken back… Paul turned a negative situation (and one I was probably going to only turn more negative) into one of the best morning talks I have ever heard or been part of… I went from being so mad I was “seeing red” to having a tear in my eye listening to Paul’s encouraging conversation with this student.

At the end of the morning discussion, the students got up and left the room to start our next exercise. After the last student left the room, I turned to Paul and said “that might be the greatest and most encouraging thing I have ever heard told to one of our students”.

Paul turned to me and said Tim, never forget…. “When the student is ready, the master will appear”.

I will never forget this morning, this saying and how great Paul handled the situation.

******

So – I have some questions for you (our students)… When you “self talk”, is it negative or positive, are you encouraging or discouraging to yourself, do you put positive or negative labels on yourself…. and ultimately, “Are you ready for the master to appear”?

I’d again like to thank Paul for the honor of writing a forward for his book.