by Shane Matzen, Graves Golf Coach/Membership Liaison

Recently, I was on one of our Single Plane 30 zooms and we were getting close to wrapping up another month of training, conversations and reflecting.  As our students are wont to do, one of them admitted going out to try the new swing on the course.  As you might imagine, the results of his venture were not what he had envisioned.  While SP30 had brought him so much satisfaction and answered so many questions he’d had about the game for so long, translating it to performance and scoring had left him frustrated and wondering how to handle his angst as it related from going to the practice mat/net to the course.

As I was listening, so many thoughts from my previous coaching career in the sport of basketball came to mind.  After I’d gathered those thoughts into something coherent, I decided to virtually “raise my hand” and wait my turn to give my input into our zoom conversation.  Once Scott Renfrow, our SP30 Director, called on me, I related some of my experiences dealing with how frustration plays a part in all of our endeavors…..

I was blessed to coach many, many young men in my 23 years coaching hoops and I could never thank them enough for the work, diligence, loyalty and acceptance of me and what I was trying to teach them.  But I knew throughout those two-plus decades that I wasn’t always right and that more than a few (some more than others!) of my players didn’t always agree with what or how I was guiding them.

Most fans of sport who haven’t coached assume that having a “yes sir/no sir” player is the ideal situation for a coach.  And I had many of these players.  They’re wonderful.  There are very little issues and generally you move forward with few major roadblocks in your path.  Having said that, not having those roadblocks sometimes kept you from getting to know those players with their personalities and things they believe in.  

On the other hand, and this is where many coaching novices think that getting into coaching would not be a viable option for them, you WILL have players who find fault, who are always looking to dig deep into why their coach does what he/she does and will often express their disagreement or displeasure.  And lemme tell you….heads DO butt many times between said player and his/her coach.  

But after coaching for a few years, I decided, “You know what?  That’s ok.”  I grew to love and appreciate my players who I would often relate to my coaching peers as those with “some p*** and vinegar”.  They kept me in check, I got to know them in a deeper way and they pushed me to get better.  

Now, having said all that, how does this relate to going through three weeks of Single Plane 30 training and then seemingly forgetting everything you’ve learned when the ball in front of you is on the third fairway of your local course?  Well, I don’t think I’m in the minority here but when adversity, frustration and obstacles get in my way with something I care about, I tend to push harder.  And when I do succeed in pushing past my failures and turning them into successes, the sense of gratification to me is so much deeper and meaningful.

We all have had that one good shot in the midst of a bad round that we’ve related to our friends, “Man, that shot filled up my tank to come back”.  I would challenge you to consider that there are many sources of fuel.  A good shot, great friends to spend four hours with, beautiful weather and yes, frustration, can all be fuel.  It’s when you cease to care that you should become concerned.  

In the midst of our zoom conversation, I was taking some notes for when it was my turn to speak and I scribbled down the following:

Frustration is Fuel

Apathy = an Empty Tank

One of the best parts of my job with Graves Golf is when I get to talk to folks via phone or zoom sessions and they talk to me through their experience learning Single Plane.  When they get into the whole “I’m aggravated and frustrated” issue, I have zero issues steering them into how we can work with them.  I’m not going to lie to you here in this space though….I get very worried that I can’t help when they tell me they’re done with the game.  

Being super happy and satisfied with an endeavor generates the same degree of passion as being frustrated with yourself and your progress with that endeavor.  Passion is that fuel which can lead to production.  Keep that in mind when your passion seems to be of a negative grade.  Bottom line, the engine will run on frustration-grade and we can switch you over to premium, I mean positive-grade, as long as you are passionate about doing so.