desire

“Do Not Try, Just Do”

By Dr. Ron Cruickshank, Golf Mind Coach & GGA Director, Canada

Today was a good day. My son Blade, a collegiate lacrosse player at Guilford College in North Carolina, was requested this year to take up the goalie position. Now, if you know anything about lacrosse you know this is like setting yourself up at the business end of a shooting gallery, without much padding. His first month was a regular series of phone calls asking Mom for some home remedies for bruises and bumps all over his body.

Most of his buddies questioned his sanity for taking up the goalie position, as it is common knowledge that this position can result in being ‘gun shy’ and develop an early case of the jitters as you are trying to avoid getting whacked on the shins with a ball about the same density as a hockey puck. Not fun!

So, why was it a good day when my son’s schedule calls for him to show up as the target for 30 top athletes with sticks? The reason was a call we had today in which he shared he had a great day of practice, maybe his best ever at this level. That was a change from the last couple of months.

As we queried the reasons, he told us that he had pulled some advice from the past (meaning something his old Dad had told him) and decided to start humming whenever he was under intense assault from the opposing attack men. “It worked great,” he said. “Got a few strange looks from my teammates, but they liked the results.” He further added. “I was able to quit trying so hard and just let it happen without thinking about it.”

Read carefully here and understand the message. What he was doing by humming was interrupting his own internal dialogue (negative, fearful, uncertain) and letting his body do what it already was programmed to do. That is, watch a ball coming towards him at 90 MPH and catch it in a net connected to stick in his hands. His body knew how to do that because he has practiced it thousands of times and has it stored in his brain within thousands of neural circuits. Yet, something was getting in his way.

What most often gets in the way is a negative internal dialogue that gets manifested as some self-defeating behavior. It gets more complicated when you attach real pain to this dialogue (he actually got whacked a bunch of times). It then becomes what is known in behavioral science jargon as a “kinesthetic or visual anchor’. That is, just the visual imagery of the ball or even a feeling or thought can cause the body to be less than resourceful and reduce overall performance.

Let me give you an example. If you will imagine you are driving along a nice scenic highway on a lovely spring day. Your car is new and freshly washed, the windows are down and the trees seem extra green and vivid. The flowers are out, the air is crisp and you have a sense of well-being and things seem right with the world. All of a sudden a flashing blue light appears directly behind you and the Highway Patrol guy is motioning you to pull over.  Whoops! Now tell me what happened to your emotional state as you imagined this scene?  That is an anchor and the feeling you got is similar to what happens when you let your dialogue get negative under stress.

There is a memorable scene I love in the movie Star Wars. Luke Skywalker is trying to raise his crashed ship from the primordial ooze and is unable. In frustration, Yoda tells him. “Do not try Luke, just do!” What a great statement by a great teacher. Yoda was telling Luke to get his preconceptions, his fears, his wishes and his wants out of the way and just let his mind and body do what it knew how to do. In Yoda’s sentiments, trying doesn’t exist, you either do or you don’t.

The lesson here, for each of us, is that performance is often inhibited because we care too much. We want to do well so intensely that the desire itself becomes a type of over care or stress and the toll it takes – is our performance.

If you are seeking to maximize your performance when playing golf, or any other aspect of your life, where you get into a state of over care, it makes great sense to reduce the significance of the event in any way you can.   My son is doing it by humming because you can’t think and hum at the same time (try it, it is true).

You can practice reducing significance by trying the following:

  • Being truly in the here and now. Focus on what is happening this second.
  • Think of the game you are in as just a fun round without any real consequence to you. You dissociateyourself from the emotional meaning.
  • Focus on a physiological aspect, like your breathing.  This moves your thoughts of performance into the background.
  • Direct interruption of your internal dialogue – hum your favorite tune. This can be done sub-vocalized to keep the noise down, or perhaps you might be playing with the members of a rock band and they would enjoy it.
  • Develop and rely on a routinethat allows you to minimize your thoughts beyond what you are actually doing. This is why so many Pro’s use a strict pre-shot routine for every shot, especially putting, because this is when they are most susceptible to minor muscle movement related to stress. When they get under pressure they have a familiar routine to fall back on that lets them compartmentalize their internal dialogue to the rehearsed procedure.

You hear this reflected often in post-round interviews when a pro will tell the interviewer. “I was trying to not get ahead (a head) of myself.” What he is telling us all highlights his desire not to let distracting, and unrelated to the task at hand, internal dialogue begins to affect his performance. If you are thinking about getting the trophy in an hour, or your gracious acceptance speech, it is hard to be lining up and executing the perfect putt.

In general, if you reduce the emotional significance of an event, you will reduce negative emotional impact on your state of being and that translates into improved performance. Your body is a closed and connected loop and every part is interacting with the other.

So, as to my humming lacrosse playing goalie son, I will report that his team is off to its best start in 20 years, with 5 wins and 1 loss so far this season. Now that’s a tune we can all enjoy.

About the Author: Dr. Ron Cruickshank recently opened the GGA – Moe Norman Golf School as part of the GGA expansion program into Canada. He is headquartered at the Royal Ashburn Golf Club in Whitby Ontario. This year’s offerings include a variety of Specialty Clinics in addition to the regular GGA Schools. If you are serious about getting better this year call Ron at 647-892-4653.

THE ONE Secret You Need To Know About Willpower (Part 2 of 2)

Part 2 of a 2 Part Series

The One Secret About Willpower You Should Know

The key insight about willpower is to recognize it is situational and based on personal values. It is a mistake to view willpower as some ubiquitous force that permeates every part of our lives. Willpower is nothing more than consistent behavior or action, regardless of your emotional state towards accomplishing a pre-selected goal. Notice I said consistently, not every single month, week, day or hour. You demonstrate willpower by unswervingly staying focused on a particular outcome because you value it.

A personal value is something you are willing to expend energy to move towards. The more you value something, the more you will choose behaviors consistent with achieving that which you value.

Consistent willpower is only possible if we VALUE the result of the behavior or action above other things. We tend to rank our values, most important, second most important and so on. Discovering such ranking is a common process known as values clarification and is directly correlated to the energy level we are willing to expend to achieve an end goal. All values have a relative ranking in our lives and thus our actions. The more you value something, the more energy (read willpower) you are willing to expend in actions to accomplish.

The secret to having willpower on demand is to understand that the source of your willingness to expend energy on an action is found in understanding what your values are and their relative priority. If an action (or the end result of your action) is not valued above other things you will not expend energy to achieve it. If you wish to have more willpower you must rank your objective higher than other goals.

The ancients seemed to understand this link between values and willpower. I found the following verse in the 5th century Hindu Upanishads.

“You are what your deep, driving desire is.

As your deep, driving desire is, so is your will.

As your will is, so is your deed.

As your deed is, so is your destiny.”

This canon tracks the development of willpower in a clean, elegant and profound way. Read it several times and comprehend the flow described. It provides a 1500 year-old recipe for developing willpower selectively if you understand what your “true desire” is. Your true desire will always reflect your higher values. If you don’t highly value something, then why would you want willpower to accomplish it? Think about it.

Desire = Values = Willpower = Actions = Your Destiny

Dr. Ron’s 3 Step Technique for Developing Willpower on Demand

To begin, decide what area you would like to have more willpower in. It could be relationships, exercise, diet, work, time management, golf training or anything else you wish to apply more willpower to.

  • Make a list of what you consider yoursix core values. These are things you currently are most willing to sacrifice your time and energy to achieve. For example, your list could look like the following:
    • Family/Belonging
    • Economics/Money
    • Competence/Confidence
    • Self-Actualization
    • Service to Others/Human Dignity
    • Faith in God

Note: If you have trouble identifying your core values, look up Values Clarification on the Internet and you will readily find a variety of lists you can use to stimulate your thinking.

  • Rank Order your values list from 1-6, with 1 being the most important to 6 being the least important. Since you only listed six this could take some contemplation, as all of these are important. However, force yourself to list them in priority. A test to see if your prioritization is correct is to honestly assess what you spend the bulk of your time and emotional energy on.
  • Get a piece of paper or a 3×5 card and at the top writedown the specific objective you want to apply more willpower to.  Write down your six values in rank order down the left side. To the right, next to the appropriate value, begin to list all reasons you want to apply willpower to achieving this objective.  This process allows us to begin to link our activities and objectives to our values.

As an example, below see the card I prepared to ensure willpower in support of my objectives of getting healthier by losing weight and working out regularly. I keep this card on my desk and look at it daily to ensure motivation and continued commitment.

OBJECTIVE: My MOTIVATION FOR BEING HEALTHY BY GETTING TO PROPER WEIGHT AND WORKING OUT REGULARLY

  1. Family – Being around for them, being active, high energy for doing things, setting an example for kids.
  2. Health – correct blood pressure, sugar levels and cholesterol. Not having to use the aging drugs like blood pressure medicine and cholesterol drugs.
  3. Self-Actualization – High competence at golf and sport as I age. Having a positive appearance, clothes fit properly, easier to buy. Ego
  4. Economics – More productive work span, optimum energy available for work.
  5. Service to Others – To be of help to others you must have the energy.
  6. Philosophical – Use your share of the planet’s resources available and no more.

When you have completed this exercise you have a comprehensive and motivating document that powerfully aggregates in your consciousness all the important (based on your most important values) REASONS for achieving your stated objective. Additionally, and most importantly, you have linked these reasons to behaviors and your values.  There is nothing more compelling to your psyche as you have now integrated the objective into your top six life values.

The important question to ask at this point is ‘does it work’? The answer is yes, if you follow these recommendations and honestly link the outcomes you desire to your core values.  I know of no more powerful way for you to USE YOUR BRAIN FOR A CHANGE.

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