mind coach

The “Pep Talk” (A MUST READ..)

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By: Tim Graves, PGA

This past week I received an email from Chris Anderson (Graves Golf Alumnus / Level 5 Member) about a recent tournament he played in. After the original email, I asked him to expand about his “pep talk”. And received a GREAT email I suggest all read.

Original email from Chris:

Two weeks ago I finished second in my tournament! I shot 42-37 for 79! I teed off on #1 and as you can see, the front nine did not go well. I couldn’t hit a fairway to save my life lol. I gave myself a pep talk at the turn, used some of the techniques we learned at the AAI School, and was five shots better on the back nine! This included two birdies ( one on the 18th hole).

Follow Up email from Chris (About the “Pep Talk”):

Good Afternoon Tim,

Here is a rundown of the pep talk I gave myself at the turn:

As I walked off the 9th green I was pretty steamed and frustrated to say the least. Especially since I had a great warm up. I felt great, was chalk-full of confidence, and was ready to go. I couldn’t wait to get to the first tee and let it fly. On the front nine, I couldn’t hit a fairway to save my life. I had a couple lip outs and I missed a really short putt. I shot six over par (42) for the first nine holes of the tournament.

As we made our way from the 9th green to the 10th tee box we stopped to grab a drink, use the bathroom etc. I jumped out of the cart and walked into the clubhouse so I could get away from everyone and be alone. I was thinking/saying to myself, “What the heck is going on?” I was frustrated and genuinely bewildered at the same time. After a few minutes of feeling sorry for myself and having a pity party (reality wasn’t matching the vision I had in my mind) I collected myself and thought, “Ok, new 9. New life! You’ve been here before, so there’s no need to panic.” There’s lots of birdies out there. Plenty of opportunities. You got all your bad shots out of the way, so now you can turn and burn. Attack the back 9!

As I stepped to the 10th tee box I adopted a new strategy. The course was very narrow and each fairway was treelined, guarded by bunkers, and lots of fescue just was waiting to gobble up your golf ball. I decided to take the driver out of play and do whatever I had to do to get the ball in the fairway off the tee. I even thought about hitting a 6 iron off the tee. I decided to hit my trusty 7 wood off each tee. 200 to 210 yards. Not particularly far but always straight. I did the math in my head and accepted that I would have to hit 7,8, maybe a 9 iron into each green. Perfect. No sweat. My first and foremost priority was to get the ball in the fairway. Plot my way around the course one shot at a time. Time to rock n’ roll! 

It was a chilly day so I employed the tactic we talked about a month or two prior. On my approach shots, I clubbed up and played to the center of the green yardage (unless the pin was way in the back). We’re not playing hero golf, chasing pins, and forcing anything. Nice boring, uneventful golf. We’re certainly not following a bad shot with a stupid shot (LOL Thanks Tim). I told myself before every shot, “This is going to be my best shot of the day!” As I turned things around and started to hit my stride I kept telling myself, “keep going. Just keep going. Don’t give up. Anything can happen out here. (side note, I do not look at the leaderboard during tournaments)

I birdied both par 5’s on the back and shot one over par 37 for a total of 79! Five shots better than my front nine score! I walked into the scoring area to turn my scorecard in and was completely shocked to see I was tied with another guy for the clubhouse lead! There was one guy still out there with a few holes left to play who was playing quite well. We had to wait and see how it would all pan out. I thought to myself, worst case scenario, this gentleman holds on a wins. Best case scenario, I’m in a playoff with a chance to win a golf tournament I thought I was completely out of as I walked off the 9th green. 

As Paul Monahan has stated repeatedly, “You’re never out of the fight and anything can happen.” There is so much truth and wisdom to that.

Well, the gentleman I mentioned previously held on and won the tournament by a single shot. I finished 2nd but I gained priceless knowledge, insight, and I learned something about myself that is worth way more than the trophy I would have won that day. That trophy would have represented a specific moment in time. One particular date. The lessons I learned that day I will be able to take with me for the rest of my life.  

THANK YOU CHRIS!

Would love to hear your comments about Chris’ Pep Talk.

Please email me at timg@gravesgolf.com with comments.

Thank You Jen..

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By Tim Graves, PGA

Wanted to share an email I received from one of our students this past week. She attended our Trifecta School (2 Day Mental Game School followed by 2 Day Short Game School followed by 2 Day On Course Instruction School). We call this our “Scoring School”.

Emails like this absolutely make my day…

Hi Tim,

As I sit at the Houston Airport I’ve been reflecting about the past six days and wanted to tell you how truly grateful I am for the experience.

Thank you for an incredible short game school. I came in hoping to improve my game, but I left with something much more valuable – a completely different perspective on scoring and, more importantly, a belief that I can achieve results I only dreamed were possible….

Your straight forward, no nonsense approach is exactly what I needed. You didn’t sugarcoat anything and you gave me the information, tools, and confidence to actually make changes. The insight you shared about all aspects of scoring was priceless. I know I’ll continue to hear your voice in my head on the golf course reminding me to trust what I’ve learned and commit to the shot.

What I’ll remember most, though, was your encouragement. You made me believe that I can accomplish things with my game that I never thought were within my reach. That motivation is going to stay with me.

I’m excited to get home to practice, and start putting everything you taught me into action. I know the results won’t happen overnight, but I feel I have a clear path and I’m excited about the journey.

Thank you Tim, for your time, your honesty, your generosity, and for believing in me.

It was an awesome six days, and I’m very grateful I had an opportunity to learn from you.

I’ll keep you posted on my results!

Jen W.

Rethinking Practice and Play

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By: Paul Monahan, Graves Golf Mental Game Coach

Two weeks ago – I spent 3 days in Scottsdale with two wonderful and fascinating people in the golf performance space: Lynn Marriott and Pia Nilsson. Lynn and Pia were the long-time coaches to Annika Sörenstam (…only the winningest female player in the history of golf) as well as many other highly successful players on the PGA and LPGA tours.

They have spent their entire careers growing in their own understanding of what creates great performances on the course  – and creating a framework for their

Pia Nilsson (L) and Lynn Marriott (R) teaching at Talking Stick Resort in Scottsdale, AZ

students and clients to “indulge in the experience of play” as Hogan said.  (Incidentally, Lynn worked with Chuck Hogan for many years.)

And while I learned so much about myself and my game that week, among my key takeaways with Lynn, Pia and the Vision54 Team were these:

  1. Our practice sessions can be WAY more productive when we bring purpose to each and every shot.
  2. We can create much better outcomes ON the course when we set aside the need to fulfill swing mechanics objectives and instead focus on what Lynn and Pia refer to as our Human Skills…which we can control.

Practice Slower, Play Faster. This is one of our Alert Attitude of Indifference Big Ten Strategies we teach at our AAI playing schools. It means:

  • That we all benefit by taking a MUCH slower approach to our practice sessions.
  • That instead of raking over and hitting ball after ball after ball, we can be much more productive – and learn a lot more while practicing – when we hit fewer balls – not more.
  • That when every shot has a purpose outside of a technical skill, we can learn to practice hitting shots as an athletic endeavor – not a cognitive one. (Thanks Lynn and Pia for articulating that so well!)

So, what does that look like when I am practicing slower?

  • No more bucket of balls poured-out next to my hitting station. Hit one ball at a time. No more raking over the next ball!
  • Prior to each shot, I am thoughtful about where I want each ball to fly to, it’s trajectory, and perhaps a feeling I am trying to notice.
  • I leave all thinking behind once I step up to the ball…and just “play.” (yes…even in a practice scenario.)

Playing faster on the course is also an important way to rethink your approach to the game. It means:

  • Not lingering over the shot as you are about to hit it.
  • Leaving your THINKING behind when you are executing a shot. (Including thoughts about how to hit position 3, how to keep your primary tilt, how to transition properly…etc.)
  • Creating a deliberate system that gets you to execute a shot in 4-7 seconds instead of 10-20 seconds.

Why is this important? Because executing each shot is an athletic endeavor – not a cognitive one. (Thanks again Lynn and Pia!) The LESS time you spend hovering over the ball, the less chance there is for your (very) active brain to get involved in the process.

As you practice and play over the next few weeks, see if you can do these two things. Practice slower and more purposefully. And when you play, pull the trigger sooner. Stop lingering over the ball. Stop overthinking. Just do.

I think if you can do this, you will have taken an important step toward achieving what Chuck Hogan wanted for all of us to experience when we play. And what Lynn Marriott and Pia Nilsson preach and teach every day. Just play. Just do. Be fearless. Stop getting stuck in your head. Go out and have fun. Loosen your grip on the outcomes. Enjoy the game more.

Stay Healthy!

-Paul

(Reprint from 2020)

Small Adjustments

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By:  Paul Monahan, Graves Golf Mental Game Coach

Sometimes inspiration comes when you least expect it.

I had a chance to spend a couple great days at the Graves Golf Academy HQ in in Edmond, OK recently. It was a great visit…full of great interactions, creative ideas, stepping outside of my comfort zone, learning from the great team at GGA, and there was even time for a little golf with Tim.

Based on feedback and interest from the GGA community, we are planning some very exciting playing schools next year focused on helping our students to tune-up their on-course mental game.  ( I am looking forward to sharing the dates for those very special schools with you in the coming weeks.)

And yes, my visit with the Graves Team was inspirational. But something happened at the very end of my trip that made my trip even more so…and I just had to share it:

I ended my second day with Tim, Todd, Chandler, Shannon, Blade…et al, and headed to the airport late in the afternoon. Because I had stayed as long as I possibly could at Rose Creek Golf Club, I had barely enough time to make my flight.

The first order of business was to drop my rental car off at the Will Rogers World Airport and hop onto the shuttle that would deliver me to the main terminal.

As I approached the shuttle bus a guy greeted me cheerfully and offered to put my golf clubs onto the bus. I noticed his name tag…so I said: “Thanks Marty.” And he said…with a big smile and lots of great energy:  “Thanks for calling me Marty.”

Marty was the shuttle bus driver. When all the passengers had boarded the bus, Marty took his seat behind the wheel and we headed to the airport. Then he picked up the microphone and began making what sounded like a pretty-routine courtesy announcement.

“Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Marty and I will be taking you on the four-minute ride over to the main terminal here at Will Rogers World Airport. I hope that you enjoyed your stay in the Oklahoma City area.”

I was only sort-of listening. But, then it got interesting…

“And if I may, I would like you to consider this…”

Uh-oh, I thought. Where is this guy going with this…?

“In a few minutes, you will be on an airplane headed to your destination. As the pilot points the plane down the runway and throttles-up the engines, he will make lots of very small adjustments to the engine, wings and other control surfaces so that you will soon be soaring high in the sky.”

Small adjustments in your game can make you soar.

And then he went on…

“I invite you to consider that life is like that as well. If you commit to making small adjustments every day in your own life, you too can set yourself up to soar. To achieve all you want to. To be who you want to be. And to create the life you want.”

Woah.  I thought to myself: who is this guy!!??

He was articulate, polite, happy, and positive. His message was simple, thoughtful, and expertly-delivered. And he inspired me to pause and think. (Not who I expected to be driving that shuttle bus!)

It struck me that much of what I talk about with my performance clients can be thought of in exactly the same way he had described.

Small adjustments made often over time leads to profound changes. (Or as Marty would say…allows you to SOAR)

It’s the same message you have heard from Todd, Tim and others when it comes to skill development in the Single Plane Swing arena: Start slow. Feel position one. Then Feel position two. Learn what proper rotation onto your trail leg feels like. Ask for feedback on ONE thing. Then another. …etc.

Small adjustments made often over time leads to profound changes.

And it’s the same message that I offer with respect to building a more productive mental game. Learn to be a little more aware of your thoughts today. Then a little more aware tomorrow. Learn the language of Performance Energy. Then learn how to see how Performance Energy shows up for you on the course. Notice how it impacts your ability to hit the shots you desire…or how it prevents you from playing your best.  …etc.

Small adjustments made often over time lead to profound changes.

We all get impatient sometimes…and it’s easy to fall into the trap of needing BIG change NOW.

But that’s not always possible. (Or advisable)

Part of Marty’s message is to say this: take the pressure off of yourself to FIX this week what you want to  – in your swing mechanics OR your mental game skills – and just get on a path to mastery.

Commit to making small changes over a long period of time. And TRUST that you will create the change you are interested in. That’s how you improve your swing mechanics. And that’s how you raise your consciousness and performance energy (read mental game!) on the course.

So the next time you happen to be at the Oklahoma City Airport rental car facility, be sure to look for Marty driving your shuttle bus…and LISTEN carefully to his advice!

Have a great week!

-Paul

PS…What do you want to create in your life and your golf game? And what small adjustments are you willing to commit to making today, this week, this month? 

Paul Monahan, PCC is a Peak-Performance coach, member of the International Coach Federation and a certified COR.E Performance Dynamics (TM)  Specialist, and a member of the Graves Golf Academy staff, specializing in the mental game. He resides in Cleveland, Ohio with his wife Paula and is the proud dad to three young men.

Mental Game School Follow Up

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By: Tim Graves, PGA

Last week we held one of our Mental Game (Alert Attitude of Indifference) Schools. Myself (Tim Graves) and Paul Monahan (Graves Golf Mental Game Coach) run the school with help from our great teaching staff.

Shortly after the school, Paul sends a follow up email to all the students.

It is such an AWESOME email, I want to share with all / you.

I understand, there are many points in the follow up email you will not “understand” unless you attended the school, but there is also a lot of information thought you might find interesting.

Good afternoon!

It was great working with you last week at the AAI School in Edmond. 

Thanks for “emptying your cup” so that you were ready to take on new ideas – and/or revisit the concepts you already knew.

Our goal was to create unique experiences so that important insights would emerge for you about what it takes for you to elevate your mental games skills so that golf for you is full of more higher quality shots, less struggle, and more fun.

That said, learning and exploring at the school is one thing – but applying what you learned is another – and is key to transforming your game.

So, I thought I would share a couple thoughts about how you can make the most of your time at the AAI School, now that you are back home.

First: Revisiting The Big Ideas:

  • Golf is simple. We often make it too hard.
  • Golf is an athletic endeavor, not a cognitive one.
    • Channel your inner athlete, quiet your inner thinker: 
    • Use your “athletic feels” and awareness of things like: balance, tempo, tension, visualization.
  • Use systems and processes to shut down the overthinking:
    • Red Zone, Green Zone, Gray Zone.
    • Choreographed pre-shot routine. 
  • Play faster. Practice slower.
  • Gamify your practice. Always.
  • See the outcome of every shot as feedback, not failure. 
  • Celebrate and emotionalize your functional shots. 

Next: What to do with it all?

Take a deep breath. You don’t need to “eat this elephant” in one sitting. Just go one bite at a time:

  • Reread your notes.
  • Pick one of the ideas that resonated for you and lean-in to the concept every day for a week.
    • For example, practice using the framework Red Zone, Green Zone, Gray Zone for every shot you hit. Practice or play.
  • Then pick another one and just focus on that.
  • And so on.

Within a 30 days, you will have VASTLY grown your mental game skills – you will be playing better, struggling less, and enjoying more.

Over the next few of weeks, I will continue to stay in touch with you as you playfully integrate these important ideas into your practice and on-course experiences.

In the meantime, remember this: passion has a half-life. If you are excited about your experience last week, understand that the time to do something about it is NOW. 

If you let this moment slip, you will simply not make the transformation in your game that is possible for you.

Get after it. Now.

Have a great week!!  (Have a great July 4th Weekend!)

– Paul

*****

If you would like more information about upcoming Mental Game Schools, please go to: https://singleplanegolfschools.com/schools/aai-mental-game

Can’t Break Bad Habits

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By Tim Graves, PGA

Don’t Waste Time Trying to Break Bad Habits – Instead Build New Ones

I bet I talk about this so many times in our schools, many of our students probably get “sick” of hearing it.

When it comes to dealing with bad habits, many of us attack the problem head-on, by trying to break the habit.  This tactic, of course, doesn’t work.  And we are left with the old truth – habits are tough (if not impossible) to break.  The blame lies with our brains.  While we are really good at building circuits (creating habits), we are awful at unbuilding them. Trying as you might to break a bad habit, it is still there, waiting patiently for a chance to be used.

So, what do we do?

The solution is to ignore the bad habit and put your energy toward building a new habit that will override the old/bad habit.

To build new habits, start slowly. Expect to feel stupid, clumsy, uncomfortable, and even frustrated at first…. after all, the new “wires” in your brain haven’t been built yet. Your brain still wants to follow the old “comfortable” pattern. Build the new habit by gradually increasing the difficulty, little by little. It takes time, but it’s the ONLY way new habits are created and grow.

To Learn it More Deeply, Teach It

I absolutely love this one.

Here is the issue. Every good golfer, every golfer who learns something new/reaches a goal, etc… must be their own best teacher. If you cannot teach yourself, your ability to make changes, create new habits, reach goals, etc. will occur in a much slower rate.

This is not saying you must create everything yourself, but it is saying you must take what you learn and translate into self-teaching.

Think about it – how much time to you spend practicing, and how much of that practice time is with someone teaching you?

If you are like most, 90% + of your practice time is on your own, trying to create new habits, etc. on your own. Meaning, you must be able to make sure you are doing things correct, must be able to make sure you are “going down the correct path”.

A great way to determine if you can teach yourself it ask yourself “Could I teach this (new habit I am trying to learn) to someone else?”

This works because when you communicate a skill to someone, you come to understand it more deeply yourself. Also, when you see someone struggle, and help them through it, you improve your ability to deal with your own struggles.

The saying “Those who can’t do, teach” should be rewritten as “Doers who teach do better!”

Give a New Skill a Minimum of Eight Weeks

When it comes to growing/creating/developing new skills, eight weeks seems to be an important threshold. It’s the length of many top-level training programs around the world, from the Navy Seals’ physical – conditioning program to the mission training for the Mercury astronauts. A recent study at Massachusetts General Hospital showed the practicing meditation for twenty-seven minutes a day created lasting brain changes in (you guessed it) eight weeks.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that you can be proficient in any skill in eight weeks. Rather, it underlines two more basic points:

1)  Constructing and honing new habits takes time, no matter who you are, and

2) Resilience and grit are vital tools, particularly in the early stages of learning. Don’t make judgements too early.

Keep at it, even if you don’t feel immediate improvement. Give your talent (your brain) the time it needs to grow and create new habits.

Please feel free to contact anytime – we are always happy to help and answer your questions.

Timg@gravesgolf.com

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