Archives for January 20, 2011

The Secret to More Willpower, Resolve, Determination and.…Blah,Blah,Blah!

Part 1 of a 2 Part Series

By Dr. Ron Cruickshank, Golf Mind Coach & GGA Director, Canada

This winter my personal focus has been on intelligent golf training (thousands of repetitions, building myelin skill circuits and constant video feedback) and getting physically fit for next year’s season. By getting fit, I mean losing weight and hitting the gym regularly as I work on being more flexible and stronger.

Sounds great, but then the cold shower of reality hit. Part A of my objectives has been easy as I work on my swing. I like it, love to do it, get great enjoyment from it, happy to see the improvement. However, Part B has been more challenging because I don’t really feel like dieting and getting to the gym in the Canadian cold has its drawbacks.  Man, that’s a bummer. I think I’d rather side with Mae West when she said.  “I generally avoid temptation, unless I can’t resist it.”

Given this situation, it dawned on me with the blinding glimpse of the obvious. What I need to meet my goals is MORE WILLPOWER.  Bundles, Sacks and gallons of it would be good I thought.

Understanding The Nature of Willpower

This realization led to my standard behavioral scientist approach. I began to do a comprehensive literature search in my desire to more deeply understand the specific components of will-power, figuring I would then take that knowledge and turn it into a detailed strategy to get more of ‘it’.

As a behavioral scientist, I have studied motivation extensively over the years and have developed a comprehensive viewpoint about what it is and what conditions are necessary to provide it. However, in this case I wanted to look deeper and more specifically at willpower and understand what it ishow it gets developed, and how can we acquire it.

Guess what?  Nobody really knows and the opinions are all over the board. In fact, you can find thousands of references to will power and the other related terms like resolve, drive, determination, grit, self-control, and firmness of purpose. But in the end, no one seems to have a definitive answer. Since we all seem to want it, this subject seems a challenge worth taking on, so I thought I’d develop my own take.

To begin, I’ll offer the following definition: Willpower is getting yourself to do something that you don’t emotionally feel like doing. The key to my definition is the linking of an action to a feeling. When we mentally want to do something but don’t take action (assuming we are able), then the reason is generally based on emotion. We represent it to ourselves consciously, as ‘I don’t feel like doing this’ and unconsciously as procrastination and manufactured excuses called reasons. The end result is the same; we fail to take action even when we are clear it is something we believe we ‘should’ do.

Commonly, this lack of action is perceived as a lack of willpower. The explanations for why we have this lack are varied. For some, willpower is viewed as a setup habits that you can build up like a muscle, continually getting stronger as it’s exercised and stretched. For others, willpower is seen as a limited resource: you only have so much in your willpower reservoir and after you’ve used your allotment there isn’t anymore. What is the truth?

After much reflection, I came to the conclusion that none of these perspectives are totally valid for most people. What leads to so much misunderstanding and confusion is our tendency to think about will power in a macro-perspective rather than micro. One is seen as having will power or not having it, as if will power was something one was capable of imposing on every aspect of their life like deploying a large net over a wild beast.

The truth is all of us have situations in our lives where we don’t initiate willpower or take action. It can be as varied as losing weight, hitting the gym, arriving at meetings on time, being firm with our children, getting a project finished or making that dreaded sales call where we risk rejection. Will power, or the lack of it, must be examined selectively and on a case-by-case basis in one’s life in order to figure out the path to gaining more.

My basic premise is that one can develop willpower to take action on anything you decide to.  Under further scrutiny, I’ve realized that we all have lots of willpower. In fact, most of the people I know have tons of it. They get up each morning and go to work, fix the kids breakfast, get the laundry done, pay the bills, get through college and fit in a trip to church on Sunday when they would often rather sleep in. In other words, they demonstrate phenomenal willpower on a daily basis by taking action consistently regardless of their emotional state.

SEE NEXT BLOG:  Part 2 – Dr. Ron’s Secret Technique for Developing Willpower

THE ONE Secret You Need To Know About Willpower (Part 2 of 2)

Part 2 of a 2 Part Series

The One Secret About Willpower You Should Know

The key insight about willpower is to recognize it is situational and based on personal values. It is a mistake to view willpower as some ubiquitous force that permeates every part of our lives. Willpower is nothing more than consistent behavior or action, regardless of your emotional state towards accomplishing a pre-selected goal. Notice I said consistently, not every single month, week, day or hour. You demonstrate willpower by unswervingly staying focused on a particular outcome because you value it.

A personal value is something you are willing to expend energy to move towards. The more you value something, the more you will choose behaviors consistent with achieving that which you value.

Consistent willpower is only possible if we VALUE the result of the behavior or action above other things. We tend to rank our values, most important, second most important and so on. Discovering such ranking is a common process known as values clarification and is directly correlated to the energy level we are willing to expend to achieve an end goal. All values have a relative ranking in our lives and thus our actions. The more you value something, the more energy (read willpower) you are willing to expend in actions to accomplish.

The secret to having willpower on demand is to understand that the source of your willingness to expend energy on an action is found in understanding what your values are and their relative priority. If an action (or the end result of your action) is not valued above other things you will not expend energy to achieve it. If you wish to have more willpower you must rank your objective higher than other goals.

The ancients seemed to understand this link between values and willpower. I found the following verse in the 5th century Hindu Upanishads.

“You are what your deep, driving desire is.

As your deep, driving desire is, so is your will.

As your will is, so is your deed.

As your deed is, so is your destiny.”

This canon tracks the development of willpower in a clean, elegant and profound way. Read it several times and comprehend the flow described. It provides a 1500 year-old recipe for developing willpower selectively if you understand what your “true desire” is. Your true desire will always reflect your higher values. If you don’t highly value something, then why would you want willpower to accomplish it? Think about it.

Desire = Values = Willpower = Actions = Your Destiny

Dr. Ron’s 3 Step Technique for Developing Willpower on Demand

To begin, decide what area you would like to have more willpower in. It could be relationships, exercise, diet, work, time management, golf training or anything else you wish to apply more willpower to.

  • Make a list of what you consider yoursix core values. These are things you currently are most willing to sacrifice your time and energy to achieve. For example, your list could look like the following:
    • Family/Belonging
    • Economics/Money
    • Competence/Confidence
    • Self-Actualization
    • Service to Others/Human Dignity
    • Faith in God

Note: If you have trouble identifying your core values, look up Values Clarification on the Internet and you will readily find a variety of lists you can use to stimulate your thinking.

  • Rank Order your values list from 1-6, with 1 being the most important to 6 being the least important. Since you only listed six this could take some contemplation, as all of these are important. However, force yourself to list them in priority. A test to see if your prioritization is correct is to honestly assess what you spend the bulk of your time and emotional energy on.
  • Get a piece of paper or a 3×5 card and at the top writedown the specific objective you want to apply more willpower to.  Write down your six values in rank order down the left side. To the right, next to the appropriate value, begin to list all reasons you want to apply willpower to achieving this objective.  This process allows us to begin to link our activities and objectives to our values.

As an example, below see the card I prepared to ensure willpower in support of my objectives of getting healthier by losing weight and working out regularly. I keep this card on my desk and look at it daily to ensure motivation and continued commitment.

OBJECTIVE: My MOTIVATION FOR BEING HEALTHY BY GETTING TO PROPER WEIGHT AND WORKING OUT REGULARLY

  1. Family – Being around for them, being active, high energy for doing things, setting an example for kids.
  2. Health – correct blood pressure, sugar levels and cholesterol. Not having to use the aging drugs like blood pressure medicine and cholesterol drugs.
  3. Self-Actualization – High competence at golf and sport as I age. Having a positive appearance, clothes fit properly, easier to buy. Ego
  4. Economics – More productive work span, optimum energy available for work.
  5. Service to Others – To be of help to others you must have the energy.
  6. Philosophical – Use your share of the planet’s resources available and no more.

When you have completed this exercise you have a comprehensive and motivating document that powerfully aggregates in your consciousness all the important (based on your most important values) REASONS for achieving your stated objective. Additionally, and most importantly, you have linked these reasons to behaviors and your values.  There is nothing more compelling to your psyche as you have now integrated the objective into your top six life values.

The important question to ask at this point is ‘does it work’? The answer is yes, if you follow these recommendations and honestly link the outcomes you desire to your core values.  I know of no more powerful way for you to USE YOUR BRAIN FOR A CHANGE.

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